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Friday, September 30, 2005

 
Well, I have returned from my epic bike ride, and after four days of pain am now in good enough health to be able to actually sit down!

Last Saturday morning, after a full english breakfast, a singing of the National Anthem, and handshakes all round, I set off with my good friend Mr Loosley from his mothers house in Hanwell Broadway, very near the clock tower for those that know it. The idea was to cycle from Hanwell to Shoreham on Sea without using roads. Of course, that's not totally possible because his mother lives on a road rather than a river bank, but you get the drift.

We freewheeled down the hill to The Brent River Park and to the towpath to The Grand Union. Headed to Brentford and picked up The Thames. From there it was Weybridge, via a couple of pints in The Anglers at Walton, and on picking up The River Wey Navigation, made our way to Guildford. 37 miles in total, the last ten over strength sapping grass and poor tracks. The other thing that sapped my strength was falling into a 4 foot pit! Not clever, but highly typical of me.

Luckily Marj was acting as my personal masseuse for the night and after a particularly interesting massage which I suspect was somewhat outside the bounds of what the maesseuse governing body might deem appropriate, we went for a meal, with Mr L and the friends he was staying with.

It was a curry. Perhaps not the best food before another day in the saddle but you must fear not. Our digestions coped admirably and thus you will have no tales concerning toilets, bushes, and Delhi Belly.

Sunday saw a quick 5 mile ride to meet another intrepid friend, Mr Bishop, and we followed the Downs Link from Bramley to Shoreham.

The total mileage for the weekend was 70 miles.

Conclusion. It is quicker and less painful to go from Hanwell to Shoreham by car!

We have however proved it can be done and therefore the route will be known as The Sheriton/Loosley Back Passage. Indeed, we were so happy with the result that we spent some time asking young ladies on the front whether they would like us to take them up The Back Passage. For some reason we got our faces slapped quite a lot. Obviously the women of Shoreham are not interested in voyages of discovery.

I have now recovered except for the bruising caused when falling into the pit, and an aversion to ever sitting on a bicycle again.





Wednesday, September 14, 2005

 
So as thousands queue for hours to fill their Nissan Micras with petrol against a fuel shortage that wouldn't have happened, just so that they will have enough to cover the 20 miles they do a week when shopping, they have brought about the very thing they were panicking about.

We have few garages now in the Ealing area that have anything other than the extortionately priced Super Unleaded. Not much use for us diesel car drivers.

There will however be consequences to this.

Children may have to walk to school, some of them for distances up to 100 yards, as people carriers run dry.

Old age pensioners will have to find other ways to slow down the traffic other than driving at 5mph along the dotted white line in the middle of the road.

Taxi drivers will be forced to go on and on and on about how it wasn't like this in the old days and what they said to that fuel protester who was in the back of their cab last week. (Obviously this isn't actually a change to the norm).

And I will be forced to take to my bike, thus inadvertently doing a bit of training for the great bicycle expedition due, not next weekend, but the one after. I will be posting an itinerary shortly so that you can all plan your weekend around coming and supporting us in our efforts by bringing gifts of vodka and chocolate eclairs.





Monday, September 12, 2005

 
Not posting for 37 days must be my record. Opportunity being more the cause than laziness, but I've always been a bit partial to a spot of laziness so maybe I'm kidding myself. So what's been happening in Kennamatics world?

Work : Well, D3sk B has staggered on but once again Kev is ill and I don't feel I have the motivation, strength, total skills, necessary to keep it running on my own. We're going to let it stop trading at the end of the contract that are presently on the books. I have however set up a small company of my own to look after friends family and the customers I like should they want more stuff but I can be selective and it isn't going to be my main source of income. So what will I be doing you ask. Will I be President of the USA? A brain surgeon? A Pirate King? Hmm, the latter is tempting but I think not. Having sold double glazing for the last 13 years I can't decide whether I am taking a step up or down the food chain by trying to get into estate agency. I am compiling my brochure of lies c.v. and sending it off to see what response I get. I've been hankering after doing this for a year or so and the time is right.

Love Life : Still living at home but spending less and less time there as my affair with M grows stronger. We had four days away in Cornwall which was absolute bliss, helped by having the most gorgeous weather imaginable. We stayed here and I can recommend it. We've got 3 nights at Disneyland Paris booked for October. I should fit in well.

Money : Those who registered their interest in attending the party when I make my first million should not hold their breath at the moment. Then again, whoevers seen a poor estate agent! In fact, money is becoming a highly scarce commodity, which is also driving the need to get a "real" job.

Other : In the next month I will - Become a member of W. London Opera. Cycle from London to Shoreham without using roads. Know whether my life is getting on track or going to hell in a handcart. Give myself a papercut, (prediction).

Plenty to keep you coming back for if only I get around to actually posting the odd bit of news. Echoing my old school reports I hear the phrase "must try harder" pinging around the blogasphere.